Hello lover

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      I used to roll my eyes every time I heard another "New York City dream" story. You know, the 'I moved to New York City with only $500 in my pocket and a dream,'  story. I could not fathom the thought process behind packing up and leaving all that you know to move to New York, then again having been born and raised in New York, I was born into this privileged jaded life.

      Recently it seems like most of the people I encounter are non-natives, and seeing New York through their eyes has been an astonishing experience and it has renewed my sense of pride in it. It is impossible to look at new york as anything less than magical, and to have this all at my fingertips and not appreciate it seems sinful. Before I continue I must make a distinction between non-native new yorkers and tourists. Tourists in the eyes of most new yorkers are doe eyed gawkers taking pictures of sanitation buildings and blocking sidewalks.  

      For New Yorkers so loved the tourists that we have conceded our precious Times Square to them. It's a small price to pay for hometown pride, if there weren't tourists to marvel at brick walls, I think we would somehow become less important. The people who live amongst the brick walls, the people of the concrete city have become as iconic as the city itself. I cannot count the number of times I've caught tourists conspicuously taking pictures of me on the subway, but such is the circle of strife.
Non-natives New Yorkers on the other hand assimilate and fall in line, fully engulfed in the culture, careful to mirror our jaded personas as to not find themselves gawking and losing their cool, in turn sending the signal to all that they are a fraud a  master the MTA.

           The secret most New Yorkers hate to admit is that these are the people who know new york the best, they have loved this magical place from afar for so long, researching and falling deeper and deeper in love. Sure, they may not know where to get the best slice of pizza, how to order a sandwich or how to expertly avoid panhandlers. What they do know is how many floors are in the Empire State Building because most of us have not been, what the buildings actually look like because we wont be caught dead paying HOW MUCH ? for a double decker bus tour?!

Not to be bested, I recently made a decision to begin a full-on love affair with my precious hometown. Getting to know it inside and out, exploring it's neighborhoods, monuments, attractions and experiences my lover has to offer.
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My favorite feature on my face are my lips and my favorites thing to with them besides painting them bright red, smiling, laughing till I cry and talking, is kiss. I have this in common with 90% of the world’s cultures. Despite all of our differences we all somehow come together for a kiss. (The 10% do not know what they’re missing.)

I’m a bit of an pseudo aficionado of the art of teasing tongues and lip biting, and I was dying to find out why humans feel so inclined to mush their lips together. 
Theory #1
Kissing helps gauge the compatibility of a potential partner based upon smell and taste.  

Theory #2 
Kissing stimulates bonding through the exchange of pheromones and sebum. Sebum is secreted from the sebaceous glands, which releases a rush of sebaceous pheromones when two people share a kiss. This rush is also the cause of the hot skin in a heated kiss.

Theory #3
Kissing increases arousal and openness to sex. 

Theory #4

 My favorite. We kiss because it feels good. Our lips and tongue are loaded with about 100 times the number of nerves in our fingertips. Therefore intensifying the dizzy feeling we get when we kiss someone we might like, love or seriously crushing. These feelings are intensified and make us want to kiss them some more.

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I've always found intriguing the juxtaposing actions of our lips, That lips capable of inducing butterflies, could also form words pessimism, lies and war as well as the way our lips could spit words venom, comfort, excite, confide and still make you fall in love.

This valentines day, smile at a stranger, kiss your lover, speak prosperity and practice self love. 

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20+ Makings of me

made, done, happening, or chosen without method or conscious decision.

 I started to compile a list of 20 random things about myself, but as I got to 35 and reread what I'd written so far I realized something. 1.) I'm supposed to only have 20 2.) These things I'd written weren't really random, but actually habits, quirks, likes and dislikes that make up the person I am. Random just makes it seem like I wake up and do dumb shit for the heck of it, without aim and purpose. All that we are and all that we do is with aim and with conscious decision and with purpose, the purpose being, BEING.
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 . I'm a scardy cat! a big ole you know what (pussy, fraidy cat, chicken, punk)
I don't do : 
- Roller coasters therefore I think amusement parks are a waste of money and time.
- Guns and knives are among my 2nd and 3rd biggest fears in life, number 1 being worms. 
but at the same time I'm bold and brave. I love trying new things and visiting new places. I am usually the adventurous one,  just not when it comes to my vestibular balance or my life. I've got mucho living to do. I'm all about self preservation.

. I have vermiphobia (fear of parasitic worms), Scoleciphiobia (fear of worms) and helminthophobia (fear of being infected by or with worms)

  • Therefore I do not eat spaghetti. 
  • Yet I have this thing I do where I have to look at them to make sure I don't step on them. Looking at them is gross and all, but stepping on them would probably make me pass out. So as a rule I try not to be outside during or immediately after it rains.
. I love elephants 
  • I have a HUGE collection but favorites are the 5 elephants I have tattooed on my ribs. Each elephant represents each member of my family, oh and yes it hurt like a b- word.
  • I feel an emotional connection to them, and therefore do not support zoos or the circus because I believe they shouldn't be in captivity.
 .  I'm known to give a single chuckle and keep it moving. I like to think of my laughs as 4x concentrated.
  • When I was much much much younger maybe about 5-6, I would not leave my house unless I had on a dress. Not sweats not shorts not a skirt, a DRESS, even in the harsh winter. There was no reasoning with me, but my mother and I came to a compromise. I could wear a dress whenever I wanted to; however I'd have to wear sweats underneath. So in many of my childhood pictures you'll find me wearing a poofy dress over sweats with snow boots on my feet. And that's how I invented the Justin Beiber/ Kanye West skirt over joggers look. (straight face)
 . I'm attracted to older places music and people
  •  I LIKE children; yet I LOVE the elderly 
  • Most of the friends I have ever had have all been at lease 2-3 years + older than me 
  • I also dislike new sneakers, I'd wear them to run errands till they get nice and worn in, then and only then will they make their debut.
  • For this reason I have no urge or interest in visiting Dubai anytime soon. I have however recently become enamored with the idea of visiting Haiti and Ireland. 
  • I just love history,   I like to think I've been here before
. I live the law of attraction  
  • Through it I've learned not to limit myself. 
  • It's no one's else's job but mine to think I'm the shit! Do not leave that responsibility up to ANYONE else; for they will not do you justice, and you will never reach your fullest potential. 
  • I fully subscribe to the Mr. Kanye West philosophy of "BE AWESOME, BE AWESOME BE F-ING AWESOME"
  • I live on the frequency of prosperity and abundance, and that is exactly what I receive.
. I hate Texting, I prefer phone calls 
  • Imagine my chagrin when I reentered the single world only to realize the rules have changed and everyone's gotten a system update and I'm about three updates behind.
  • I spent years refining my telephone macking skills, because of the long distance relationships I was in during college. I used to be able to make a guys fall in love over the phone, now no one like staying on the phone for too long.  So, so long gone are the 'no you hang ups' and staying on the phone all night, hanging up only to meet for breakfast the following morning. Now I feel like my expertly honed skills are obsolete.
  • I'm great with GIFs though. Amazing! I can have an entire conversation with no words, just GIFs
  • In fact I've been faking stomach aches after dinner for 15 years (seriously) to avoid washing them.
  • I spent years laughing at a comment that I thought was aimed at a friend of mine, only to find out months ago that it was actually aimed at me. 

. My favorite color is pink, yet you'd rarely catch me in it; however if you look in my purse every its a different story.

 .If I could say something in 6 words or less I'd probably say it in 10 or more. I'm very wordy. I just like words.

. I have slight numlexia
. I am ALWAYS overdressed, why? why the F not? Funny story:
. I've always been drawn to older things, people, places and music

. I live the law of attraction.

. Sade is my fairy godmother.
. People always try to place my accent but can never figure it out; therefore I'd like to think 
I've invented my own.

. I'm a Speech-Language Pathologist, in training, and could talk your ear off about articulators, phonetics, vocal abuse, Autism and pretty much anything speech and language related.
It took me a while to get here though. I have been in school for what feels like an eternity because my career goals were always changing. I couldn't stick to a major I was not passionate about and became discouraged seeing everyone and their respective majors and careers wondering when I'd find mine. Between my self doubt and my parents hounding me, I was honestly about to say fudge it and Settle in attempt to be done with school for good, then I found a career that suited me perfectly. 

. I have the patience of a saint, when it comes to people; however I am VERY impatient with life. I am a go and get it kind of a girl.

. I'm a great driver. At least my dad thinks so.

. I am very polite, I'd like to think it runs in the family, I come from the most considerate, sweet calm people. I'm super polite its like a super power. SUPER NICE! (that'd be my name, get it, cause I'm nice and..forget it.)

. I've been to boarding school. Twice, never due to my behavior. It was however due to my dads obsession (and every African parent's obsession) with education.

. I love a good inappropriate joke, the dirtier the better.

. I have terrible eyesight and have been wearing glasses since i was 5 or younger.

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. To 1/2 of my friends I'm the most proper person they know, and to the other 1/2 I'm the most ratchet person they know. Arrrff? 

. I've had almost every odd job out there. I figured a while ago that if barbie could be a model, doctor, engineer and groomer in one lifetime then why cant I?

. I listen to Kanye and Jay-z each morning to get pumped for the day. It's like a daily pep talk, that and it gives my ego a refill for the day.

. I'm like sunshine on a cloudy day, I rarely have bad days and if I do I have nightmares. I don't usually get mad and if I do it doesn't last long.  Confrontation makes me uncomfortable although its necessary because I hate hurting feeling out of anger.

. I have a weakness for strong arms, which works its self out I guess should I become too weak and pass out, right?

. I love women! perhaps more than any man or lesbian, without the sexual attraction of course. I just adore us! We're magical, alluring and BOOBS!

. I have very animated facial expressions; therefore its almost always impossible to mask my emotions.

. I hate doing dishes.
In fact I've been faking stomach aches for years to avoid doing them 

. I smile when I get mad.

. I'm as cool as a cucumber, I'm pretty nonchalant and don't operate on the frequency of negativity. Usually insults aimed at me go right over my head anyway. It takes a lot to get my attention with negativity, I'm usually the last to know.

. I don't take disappointment well, and since my face gives everything away it makes it terribly hard to hide. Especially disappointment in the bedroom... it drives me nuts, I have legitimately thrown a tantrum or two before. I've since learned to leave the room when this happens.

. My taste in music is a bit strange, I grew up on old school soul, Light FM, light rock, and Jimmy Cliff. My mother listened to Dolly Parton and my dad likes Phil Collins and Lionel Richie.

. I'm more likely to get a random tattoo than a random piercing, which is why I have four of them.  Of the four only tattoos only one was planned.

. I don't know how to share. Being the only daughter I never had to share with my brothers; therefore I never had to learn, until now. The extent of my non-sharing and pseudo-selfishness was recently brought to my attention.

. I was a very sensitive child, I'd cry if my parents bought me leather or didn't give a coin to a homeless person. I remember picking flowers to feed the chickens at the live poultry market. I used to cry a lot, because I couldn't understand the existence of suffering, homelessness and heart ache. I think about thins sometimes and hope that I'm living my life in a way that would make that young girl proud.
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. I'd watch Jeopardy every single day if my schedule allowed it, in fact there were times when I'd schedule time just for that.

. I'm First generation Ghanaian American and I'm multi-lingual.

. Laughing, kissing and chiefing; my holy trinity.

For your sake I'll stop here.
xo Shelly

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